After an embarrassing debacle on the first tee, LoneWolf’s game has started to warm up. With the sun a little higher in the sky, the chill in the air is gone as well.
Now the 4 intrepid golfers are walking down the fairway of the 310 yard 4th to find their balls. All 4 have found the fairway for a change and things are looking up. Looking up, that is, until LoneWolf finds his ball plugged in a small anthill.
“Is this ground under repair?” he asks. Three heads shaking confirm what he already knows — play it as it lays.
The rub of the green is not LoneWolf’s best friend right now, but he carefully chooses a club. “I think it’s about a 9 iron,” he mutters as he addresses the ball.
Something goes seriously wrong in the middle of his backswing. As his club approaches the ball it is like approaching infinity — you might get close but you’ll never reach it. A huge divot is removed from the anthill. Dead and wounded ants are scattered down the fairway. The ball remains exactly where it was.
Dayfe looks like he’s about to pee his pants as he tries (unsuccessfully) to hide his laughter. Brain and Mootoe don’t bother. The foursome on the tee behind them turn to see what all the noise is about.
LoneWolf resets his stance and swings again. This time, rather than swinging inside the ball, he manages to miss completely on the other side. Another huge chunk of anthill. Another dozen dead ants. Brain is rolling on the ground in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Mootoe has dropped his 9 iron and is doubled over with laughter.
Dayfe just smiles and quietly says, “If the rest of the ants want to live, they better get on the ball.”
This is a follow up to Just Keep Swinging. The events in these posts are fictional, but the course and players are not. The actual events are far worse 8=)
If you liked this check out more LoneWolf golf humour:
Don’t forget about Cookie Crumbles for general LoneWolf humour.
But what about the third swing? Certainly you didn’t give up with only two.
Amazing. Great depiction of a less-than-optimum situation!
Comment by Seth Simonds — May 2, 2009 @ 11:47 am
After reading that and not really being a golfer but hearing about it ALL the time from my brother-in-law and have even been “forced” to leave the t.v. on a golf channel. I think it was a very funny scenario. I think it’s funny when you see someone go to swing and hit the ball and nothing happens this has happened to me when we are “forced” to go on the lawn and “just try hitting the ball” with my brother-in-law. So what I’m trying to say is I’ve got to check out your “CookieCrumbles” pages because I do like your sense of humor. Good post. Thanks for the chuckle….. jj
Comment by jj-momscashblog — July 29, 2009 @ 11:42 am
It’s always encouraging to have you drop by JJ! I know that a great many people can’t fathom what golf is about — don’t worry — you’ll understand when we get to heaven 8=)
I’ve been staying in the offline world quite a bit these past few months, so I haven’t been able to keep things updated too much, but I’m glad to have visitors none the less! I hope you enjoy a visit over at Cookie Crumbles too.
Comment by LoneWolf — July 30, 2009 @ 7:55 pm
ha ha very funny story! I hope those ants are all right.
a couple times I played golf and was almost in the same situation.
Green Peace would have forbidden golf if it figured out that this happens 🙂
Comment by Joseph — August 11, 2012 @ 12:12 pm
No ants were hurt in the writing of this story 8=) Thanks for dropping by Joseph!
Comment by LoneWolf — August 11, 2012 @ 1:53 pm
Aw, those were indeed poor ants. Good thing, this story is just a fiction, ’cause if not, the players would have attacked by the ants. 😀
Anyways, that was a nice post. Please post more, will surely look forward to them.
Thanks for the share!
Comment by Annabelle Allara — September 1, 2012 @ 5:03 am
Had a good laugh after many days. I recalled the joke about the golfer who was offering free drinks on breaking hundred on just the third day of playing golf. When someone asked him what his plans were for the future. He very solemnly replied that he planned to start on the second hole the very next day:-)
Comment by Jane Forrington — September 2, 2012 @ 9:21 pm
Thanks Annabelle. The ants in real life are smart enough to stay right in the middle of the fairways where they know that no one ever swings a golf club 8=)
Nice one Jane! That joke brings a smile to my face every time.
I hope that you ladies checked out some of the other jokes posted here. I haven’t done much recently but you’ll enjoy Golf with Jessica.
Comment by LoneWolf — September 2, 2012 @ 10:28 pm
lol)) read it with a smile on my face)
This story is well-known for me:)) Ants are very smart insects)
thank you for good emotions)
Comment by John — October 23, 2012 @ 12:05 pm