Still Standing
It’s a chilly October morning, the sun peaking over the trees to the east and trying — in vain so far — to warm the four golfers standing on the first tee. It’s their first time playing the Mark O’Meara course at Grandview. Mootoe has just popped a short, but thankfully straight, drive down the middle of the fairway.
“At least you aren’t the Shankopotomous today,” comments Brain. LoneWolf and Dayfe chuckle quietly to themselves. They have yet to tee off so they aren’t so cocky.
“Well,” LoneWolf says with a sigh. “Let’s get this train wreck started!” Teeing the ball without splitting his pants is a good start. He gets the waggle going and lines things up. Nice, smooth practice swing. Now he steps up to the ball.
The takeaway is smooth and textbook in its execution. LoneWolf makes a wonderful swing that Byron would have to admire — excellent form, perfect finish — yet the ball still sits mockingly on the tee.
“Ya got all a that one!” Mootoe exclaims.
Dayfe is hiding his laughter behind a relatively clean golf towel, but Brain is howling and slapping his knee. “You da man!”
“Now, if only I could make my real swing that good,” LoneWolf mutters, trying to cover himself. The guys don’t buy it for a minute.
Once again, he steps up to address the ball. Smooth takeaway, great transition, a dream swing. The ball continues to stare back up at the LoneWolf. “You missed,” it seems to say over the unbridled laughter of LoneWolf’s playing partners.
“Okay, guys!” LoneWolf repeats the process once more and once again, the ball is zero yards down the fairway.
At this point LoneWolf turns to the guys with a big smile. “Wow!” he says. “This sure is a tough course.”
[Original photo by woodsy on stock.xchg -- modifications by LoneWolf]
See another event from this fictional round of golf at Those Poor Ants.
If you liked this check out more LoneWolf golf humour:
Don’t forget about Cookie Crumbles for general LoneWolf humour.
That sounds a lot like my phantom golf swing. Now I don’t feel as bad.
@jesseluna
Comment by Jesse Luna — March 5, 2009 @ 1:23 am
Thanks for dropping in Jesse. Now you know what to say if that phantom swing shows up again — not that it will 8=)
Comment by LoneWolf — March 5, 2009 @ 1:31 am
Oddly enough, I think many of us put ourselves in the same position by worrying so much about what happens before we hit the ball (or the project, the blog, etc) that we fail to connect when it matters most.
Perhaps a little less concentration on form and more time executing the parts that count most? Then again, perhaps you only needed one more swing before your perfect form connected with the ball for one of those soaring drives that makes the air seem quiet and thick.
How’s that for comment spam =P
Comment by Seth Simonds — March 11, 2009 @ 12:28 pm
Seth, you are the master of spam comments 8=)
This comment is very creative and I’m glad that you dropped by for a visit and to share your wisdom. Thanks for the wonderful work that you do with your blog and on Twitter. You inspire and encourage beginners like me.
The shots that “make the air seem quiet and thick” only come along once in a blue moon for guys like me, but they sure do make you long for another.
Comment by LoneWolf — March 11, 2009 @ 1:41 pm